Mountain View, CA -- Sun Microsystems today filed a trademark 
  infringement against the island of Java* over the use of Sun's Java* 
  Responding to criticism that the island has been called Java* for 
  centuries, Sun lawyer Frank Cheatham said "Yeah, and in all that time 
  they never filed for a trademark. They deserve to lose the name."
  Rather than pay the licensing fee, the island decided to change its name. 
  They originally voted to change it to Visu Albasic, but
  an angry telegram from Redmond, Washington convinced them otherwise. The 
  country finally settled on a symbol for a name -- a neatly-colored coffee 
  cup which still evokes the idea of java. Since most
  newspapers and magazines will not be able to print the name of the 
  island, it will hereafter be referred to in print as "The Island Formerly 
  Known As Java*".
  The Island Formerly Known As Java* bills itself as a cross-landmass 
  island, but so far has only been implemented in production on the Malay 
  Archipelago. Africa is been rumored to have implemented it
  on Madagascar, but it is still in alpha testing.
  Lawyers from Sun would also like to locate the owners of the huge fiery 
  ball at the center of the solar system. They have some legal papers for 
  *Java is a Trademark of Sun Microsystems, Inc. Anyone caught using the
  trademark without permission will be beaten, flogged, sued, and forced to 
  use Microsoft products.