If you don't often read the Pink section of the Examiner or Chronicle, then you
might find something interesting here. If you do, then it may look real familiar
to you.

> ======================================
> Party of the First Part wanted to rent rights to a plot of land, thereon to
> put a sewage tank, next to the Columb Barracks in Ireland.  Party of the
> Second Part asked, For how long?  They debated, agreed, and on Dec. 3, 1888,
> signed a lease for 10 million years.
> A blindfolded dolphin can find a nickel on the bottom of its tank.
> Ask your family feline fancier how many rows of whiskers are in the two
> middle rows.  That cat has been 25 and 30 such whiskers, if average.
> Gatherers of financial stats say 40 percent of the baby boomers owe more than
> they own.
> Shortest Olympic contest: Weight lifting.  Longest: Cycling.
> Morbid Memo: A seventh of your life is Mondays.
> You recall the name of John T. Scopes, the man convicted in "The Monkey
> Trial" of 1925.  It was charged he taught evolution in contradiction to the
> Bible.  Shortly before Scopes' death in 1970, he told a writer he'd just
> subbed in that class to help an ill teacher for a few days.  He knew little
> about evolution, he said, and doubted he taught the class anything at all
> about it.
> "Diaper" has been around for centuries as the word for a diamond-shaped
> weave, but only in the past 150 years or so has it been specifically a baby's
> bottom wrap.
> Research at Columbia University suggests about 50 percent of all family
> fights start in the evening hour just before it's time to eat.
> That ailment for which the most home remedies have been prescribed throughout
> history is said to be the sore throat.
> Ants make do without ears.
> Fifty percent of bounced checks pay for liquor.
> U.S. law courts devote more than half their time to cases involving cars.
> Before A.D. 420, most well-trained riding horses, even as well-trained
> camels, dropped to their knees to receive their riders.  A.D. 420 was the
> year stirrups were invented.
> Ogden Nash decreed: "Any dish that has either a taste or an appearance that
> can be improved by parsley is ipso facto a dish unfit for human consumption."
> A fly's heart is symmetrical.
> Not all that long ago in Thailand any woman who was still unmarried at age 30
> had the right to apply to the government for a husband.
> Totem pole believers think people descended from animal, plant and other
> natural forms.  And so do the advanced scientists in anthropology, might
> mention.
> In the Middle Ages, when the better-off people first moved kitchens into
> their homes from nearby sheds, most put them in their attics.
> Does it have to be exact?  certainly.  If 99.9  percent were good enough, it
> would be all right for the proofreaders of your big dictionary to leave
> uncorrected about 400 misspelled words.
> The listers now say one out of every 25 American millionaires is a woman.
> History records that the report card of Lyndon B. Johnson at age 8 listed six
> A's and one C+.  The A's were for the usual.  The C+ was for conduct.
> If you have trouble going to sleep, blame anxiety.  If you have trouble
> staying asleep, blame depression.  That's a generality shredded by exception
> and riddled with contradictions.  But doctors say it's accurate often enough
> to note and remember.
> The Talmatobius frogs in Lake Titicaca have no tongues.  They eat with their
> fingers.
> The manatee inspired among ancient sailors the earliest notions about
> beautiful mermaids.  That's known to all, including women who've recently
> gone up a dress size.  To them, our Love and War man would like to point out
> that many of those inspirational manatees measure 7 feet around the waist.
> It was the Irish-born American sculptor Augustus Saint-Gaudens who said,
> "What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art."
> The literary A.A. Milne with his own way of judging men once noted: "What I
> say is, if a fellow really likes potatoes, he must be a pretty decent sort of
> fellow."
> Can you recall any film director, besides Alfred Hitchcock, who leased out
> his name to a successful TV show and appeared regularly on same?  Neither can
> I.
> Item No. 883C in our Love and War Man's files is a remark by the witty Cathy
> Carlyle: "Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in the control of
> the switch."
> Why mathematics teachers do so well in matrimony, typically, is not fully
> explained, but they usually appear on the most-happily-married lists compiled
> by the Love and War researchers.
> "Writing," said the great French playwright Moliere, "is like prostitution.
>  First, you do it for the love of it, then you do it for a few friends, and
> finally you do it for the money."
> The leader of a wolf pack is always a she.
> Claim is every 10th homicide nationwide involves a husband and wife.
> It's a simple psychological fact that far more girls than boys grow up
> knock-kneed.
> What's your age?  Don't tell me.  Just multiply it by 3.  Add 1.  Multiply
> that by 3.  Add you age again.  Knock off the last digit.  What do you have?
>  Your age.  You knew that?
> When the English first settled in Jamestown, the price of a bride was 1120
> pounds of tobacco.
> Your hand is exactly as wide, if typical, as your middle finger is long.
> The man who invented the Walkman also put together a long list of other
> electronic components for VCRs, ATMs, cordless phones, fax machines,
> computers.  He is Jerome Lemelson, America's most prolific living inventor,
> credited with more than 500 patents.
> A group of asses -- imagine you can do something flippant with them -- is
> called a "pace."
> Q.  "What was Elvis Presley's first film?  What year?"
> A.  "Love Me Tender."  In 1956.  Born that year:  Tom Hanks, Montel Williams
> and Mel Gibson.
> Q.  "In big-league baseball, what proportion of the base runners try to
> steal?"
> A.  Three out of 10.
> Q.  "A magician on TV demonstrated that he could stop his own pulse at will.
>  How did he do it?"
> A.  Easily.  It was Blackstone's trick years ago.  He put a wad of cloth a
> couple of inches thick into his armpit, then pressed down hard against it.
> Q.  "Which are more likely to have curly hair -- men or women?"
> A.  That, too, has been studied, and it's now known the curly gene is
> indiscriminate.  It's a toss-up.
> Q.  "How many hairs are in one eyebrow?"
> A.  If you guess 550, you'll  be pretty close.
> Q.  "What item sells best in the supermarket?"
> A.  Milk.  That's why it's almost always in the back of the store.  So you'll
> see numerous other desirables on your way to it.
> Q.  "In theatrical talk, what's it mean 'to paper the house'?"
> A.  Give away tickets to fill the seats.
> Q.  "Who was the first First Lady who could mail letters without having to
> pay postage?"
> A.  Martha Washington.  In 1800.
> Q.  "Does my blood pressure go down when I sleep?"
> A.  Doctors say so.  If it's a normal 120/80 awake, expect a normal 100/60
> when asleep.
> Q.  "Who was the athlete who built up his body by lifting a calf every day
> when it grew into a cow?"
> A.  Milon of Croton of ancient Greece was that fictional figure of according
> to the oft-told tale.
> -----------------
> By L.M. Boyd, San Francisco Chronicle, August 3 & 4, 1996