It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been
    turning in timesheets that specify large amounts of "Miscellaneous
    Unproductive Time" (Code 5309).  To our department, unproductive time
    isn't a problem.  What is a problem, however, is not knowing exactly
    what you are doing during your unproductive time.
    Attached below is a sheet specifying a tentative extended job code
    list based on our observations of employee activities.  The list will
    allow you to specify with a fair amount of precision what you are
    doing during your unproductive time.  Please begin using this job
    code list immediately and let us know about any difficulties you
    Thank you.
    The Management
    Attached: Extended Job Code List
    Code Number   Explanation
    ----------    -----------
    5316    Meeting
    5317    Obstructing Communications at Meeting
    5318    Trying to Sound Knowledgeable While in Meeting
    5319    Waiting for Break
    5320    Waiting for Lunch
    5321    Waiting for End of Day
    5322    Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Coworker
    5323    Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Coworker While
                Coworker is Not Present
    5393    Covering for Incompetence of Coworker Friend
    5400    Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who is Not
                Interested in Learning
    5401    Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who is Stupid
    5402    Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who Hates You
    5481    Buying Snack
    5482    Eating Snack
    5500    Filling Out Timesheet
    5501    Inventing Timesheet Entries
    5502    Waiting for Something to Happen
    5503    Scratching Yourself
    5504    Sleeping
    5510    Feeling Bored
    5511    Feeling Horny
    5600    Bitching About Lousy Job
    5601    Bitching About Low Pay
    5602    Bitching About Long Hours
    5603    Bitching About Coworker (See Codes #5322 & #5323)
    5604    Bitching About Boss
    5605    Bitching About Personal Problems
    5640    Miscellaneous Unproductive Bitching
    5701    Not Actually Present At Job
    5702    Suffering From Eight-Hour Flu
    6102    Ordering Out
    6103    Waiting for Food Delivery to Arrive
    6104    Taking It Easy While Digesting Food
    6200    Using Company Resources for Personal Profit
    6201    Stealing Company Goods
    6202    Making Excuses After Accidentally Destroying
                Company Goods
    6203    Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distance
                Personal Calls
    6204    Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distance
                Personal Calls in Order to Sell Stolen Company Goods
    6206    Gossip
    6207    Planning a Social Event (e.g. vacation, wedding, etc.)
    6210    Feeling Sorry For Yourself
    6221    Pretending to Work While Boss Is Watching
    6222    Pretending to Enjoy Your Job
    6223    Pretending You Like Coworker
    6224    Pretending You Like Important People When in Reality
                They are Jerks
    6238    Miscellaneous Unproductive Fantasizing
    6350    Playing Pranks on the New Guy/Girl
    6601    Running your own Business on Company Time (See
                Code  #6603)
    6602    Complaining
    6603    Writing a Book on Company Time
    6611    Staring Into Space
    6612    Staring At Computer Screen
    6615    Transcendental Meditation
    7281    Extended Visit to the Bathroom (at least 10 minutes)
    7400    Talking With Divorce Lawyer on Phone
    7401    Talking With Plumber on Phone
    7402    Talking With Dentist on Phone
    7403    Talking With Doctor on Phone
    7404    Talking With Masseuse on Phone
    7405    Talking With House Painter on Phone
    7406    Talking With Personal Therapist on Phone
    7419    Talking With Miscellaneous Paid Professional on Phone
    7425    Talking With Mistress/Boy-Toy on Phone
    7931    Asking Coworker to Aid You in an Illicit Activity
    8000    Recreational Drug Use