In the beginning God Created heaven and the earth. Quickly he  
 was faced with a class action suit for failure to file an  
 environmental impact statement. He was granted a temporary permit  
 for the project, but was stymied with the Cease and Desist order  
 for the earthly part.  
 Appearing at the hearing, God was asked why he began his earthly  
 project in the first place. He replied that he just liked to be creative. 
 Then God said, "Let there be light." Officials immediately  
 demanded to know how the light would be made. Would there be  
 strip mining? What about thermal pollution? God explained that  
 the light would come from a huge ball of fire. God was granted provisional 
 permission to make light, assuming that no smoke  
 would result from the ball of fire, that he would obtain a 
 building permit, and (to conserve energy) would have the light  
 out half the time. God agreed and said he would call the light  
 "Day" and the darkness "Night." Officials replied that they were  
 not interested in semantics. 
 God said, "Let the earth bring forth green herb and such as many  
 seed." The EPA agreed so long as native seed was used. Then God  
 said, "Let waters bring forth creeping creatures having life;  
 and the fowl that may fly over the earth." Officials pointed out  
 this would require approval from the Department of Game  
 coordinated with the Heavenly Wildlife Federation and 
 the Audubongelic Society. 
 Everything was OK until God said he wanted to complete the  
 project in six days. Officials informed him it would take at  
 least 200 days to review the application and the environmental  
 impact statement. After that there would be a public hearing.  
 Then there would be 10-12 months before... 
 At this point God created Hell.