>From firstname.lastname@example.org: A pilot is flying a small, single engine plane with a lot of really important execs on board into Seattle airport. There is fog so thick that visibility is 10m, and his instruments are out. He circles looking for a landmark and after an hour, he is low on fuel and his passengers are very nervous. At last, through a small opening in the fog he sees a tall building with one guy working alone on the fifth floor. Circling, the pilot banks and shouts through his open window: "Hi, where am I?" The solitary office worker replies: "You're in an airplane." The pilot executes a swift 275 degree turn and executes a perfect blind landing on the runway five miles away. Just as the plane stops, the engines cough and die from lack of fuel. The stunned passengers asked the pilot how he did it. "Simple," replies the pilot, "I asked the guy in that building a simple question. The answer he gave me was 100 percent correct but absolutely useless; therefore, that must be Microsoft's support office, and from there, the airport is just 5 miles away on a bearing of 87 degrees!" >From email@example.com: FISH STORY A man phones home from his office and tells his wife: "Something has just come up. I have a chance to go fishing for a week. It's the opportunity of a lifetime. We leave right away. So pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and especially my blue silk pajamas. I'll be home in an hour to pick them up." He goes home in a hurry and grabs everything and rushes off. A week later he returns. His wife asks: "Did you have a good trip, dear?" He says: " Oh yes, great! But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas." His wife smiles and says, "Oh no I didn't. I put them in your tackle box!" >From WENDYCAT@msn.com: SMILIES: * KISS :-) SMILING :'-( CRYING(SAD) :'-) CRYING (HAPPY) :-( SAD <:( DUNCE :-o AMAZED :-l BORED :-I INDIFFERENT 8-) WEARING SUNGLASSES ::-) WEARING GLASSES :-~) USER WITH A COLD :-@ SCREAMING :-& TONGUE TIED :-Q SMOKER :-D LAUGHING :-/ SKEPTICAL O :-) ANGEL ;-) WINK :c) PIGHEADED @->->-- A ROSE [[[***]]] HUGS AND KISSES :-)X SEN. PAUL SIMON +-(:-) THE POPE ==:-D DON KING [8-] FRANKENSTEIN = =):-)= ABE LINCOLN @@@@@@@@:) MARGE SIMPSON \:-) GUMBY 7:-) RONALD REGAN 8-] FDR *<(:') FROSTY THE SNOWMAN (8-o MR. BILL ~8-) ALFALFA @;^[) ELVIS >From firstname.lastname@example.org: A blind bunny and a blind snake are going through the woods and they bump into each other. Being blind, they don't know what they look like, so they decide to feel each other and describe what they feel. The snake feels the bunny first and says, "You have long ears, a short fuzzy tail covered with fur and a small wiggly nose." The bunny says, "Oh! I must be a bunny!" So the bunny feels the snake and tells him, "You have slimy skin, beady little eyes and no balls." The snake goes, "Aw shoot! I'm a lawyer!"