"The Candy Wrapper"
   It was another Payday, and I was tired of being a Mr.Goodbar.
   So I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the
   corner of Clark and  Fifth Avenue, and I whipped out my Whopper and
   whispered,"Hey Sweetart, how'd you like to Krunch on my Big Hunk for a
   Hundred Thousand Dollar Bar?"  Well, she immediately went down on my
   Tootsie Roll, and, Uno, it was like pure  Almond Joy.  I couldn't help 
   but grab her delicious Mounds 'cause it was easy to see that this little
   Twix had the Red Hots.
   It was all I could do to hold back a Snicker and a Krackle
   as my Butterfinger went up her tight little Kit Kat and she
   started to scream "Oh Henry, Oh Henry!"  Soon she was fondling my Peter
   Paul and Zagnuts and I knew it wouldn't be long before I blew my
   Milkduds clear to Mars and gave her a taste of the old Milky Way.
   She asked if I was into M&M, but I said "Hey Chiclet, no
   kinky stuff."  I said "Look you little Reeces Pieces, don't be a
   Zero, be a Lifesaver.  Why don't you just take my Whatchamacallit and
   slip it up your Bit O' Honey?" (and what a piece of Juicyfruit she was,
   too). She screamed, "Oh,  Crackerjack, you're better than the
   Three Musketeers!" as I rammed my Ding Dong up her Rocky Road and
   into her Peanut Butter Cup.
   Well, I was givin' it to her Good 'n' Plenty, when all of a
   sudden...my Starburst.  As luck would have it, she started to grow a bit
   Chunky and complained of a Wrigley in her stomach.  Sure enough, nine
   months later, out popped a Baby Ruth.