[Editor's note: this page is getting a huge number of hits lately.
(sometimes hundreds per day - a lot for this site, anyway).
The host statistics don't include referral info, so I don't know
where they are linking from - but quick surveys suggest a lot of visits
from UCLA (ha).
if you'd like to comment, please go on up
for info. thanks!]
UNIVERSITY OF SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA APPLICATION FOR ADMISSION
Last First Middle
Palm Springs Address
Height _____ WEIGHT _____ Bust (if applicable) _____
Bench Press _________ Hair Color (Natural) __________
1. Which of the following body types is nearest to yours? [circle one]
mesomorph octomorph endomorph
[please ask someone if you don't know what any of these words mean]
2. Which of the following best describe you? [circle one]
jock bimbo blond bimbo
3. Personal bank account interest (u.s. and foreign) accrued this
past fiscal year:
4. Are you a football player? If yes, please skip to the last line
of this application.
5. What is the number of hired servants in your household?________
6. What type of BMW do you drive?
7. List all of your personal major credit cards
8. Estimate your parents' annual income (round off to the closest
$50,000 - use exponents if necessary and if you know what they are)
9. Have you read a book this year? _____ If yes, why?
10. Have you ever held a job that your parents didn't get you?
_______ If yes, why?
11. Name five of the United States (for instance, California, Florida,
Illinois, New York, Texas).
12. What is your favorite sitcom?
13. What sports or gossip magazines do you read?
14. How to you spell U.S.C's nickname (which is "trojans")?
15. If you are selected to attend U.S.C., do you plan to graduate?
______ If yes, in how many years? 5____ 6____ 7____ 8____
16. Have you ever taken a test on your own?
_____ If yes, why?
[please continue to the next page]
Answer one (1) essay question. Take as much time as you need. You may
have the assistance of your parents or tutor. If necessary, you may
have someone read you the question and write your answer. However, do
not exceed the space provided.
1) Have you ever spoken with someone who isn't white? Describe your
2) You are going to be stranded at a desert resort hotel for three
weeks.You will be allowed to bring along only five of your family's
servants. Which servants will you bring? Why?
3) You are trapped in Barney's or Neiman Marcus for one hour with only
$10,000. What will you buy? Why?
Please enclose your high school transcript [your grades] and a
recommendation by your coach or plastic surgeon, with an 8x10 glossy
color photograph [of you].
Please submit a $2,500 deposit towards your application fee (the amount
of which will be determined by how much the athletic department or a
major fraternity or sorority wants you).
Please sign below [ "x" is ok if you cannot write your name].