Bad: You can't find your vibrator.  Worse: Your daughter "borrowed" it.
Bad: You find a porn movie in your son's room.  Worse: You're in it.
Bad: Your children are sexually active.  Worse: With each other.
Bad: Your husband's a crossdresser.  Worse: He looks better than you.
Bad: Your son's involved in Satanism.  Worse: As a sacrifice.
Bad: Your wife wants a divorce.  Worse: She's a lawyer.
Bad: Your wife's leaving you.  Worse: For another woman.
Bad: Your wife's leaving you.  Worse: To enter a convent.
Bad: Your wife's arrested for soliciting.  Worse: She implicates you.
Good: Hot outdoor sex.  Bad: You're arrested.  Worse: By your husband.
Good: The postman's early.  Bad: He's wearing camos and has an AK-47.
Good: The secretary said "yes."  Bad: Your wife says "no."
Good: The teacher likes your son.  Bad: Sexually.  Worse: He's gay.
Good: You came home for a quickie.  Bad: So did the postman.
Good: You came home for a quickie.  Bad: Your wife walks in.
Good: You get a three-day weekend.  Bad: You get the flu on Friday.
Good: You get tickets to the theatre.  Bad: It's performance art.
Good: You go to see a strip show. Bad: Your daughter's the headliner.
Good: Your boyfriend's exercising.  Bad: So he'll fit in your clothes.
Good: Your car conveniently "runs out of gas."  Bad: For real.
Good: Your child's "waiting for Mr. Right".  Bad: Your son, that is.
Good: Your daughter's on the Pill.  Bad: She's eleven.
Good: Your neighbor exercises in the nude.  Bad: He weighs 350 pounds.
Good: Your son's doing extra credit work.  Bad: Making a sex ed video.
Good: Your uncle leaves you a fortune.  Bad: It's counterfeit.
Good: Your wife bought a porn video.  Bad: Your daughter's the star.
Good: Your wife likes outdoor sex.  Bad: You live downtown.
Good: Your wife meets you at the door nude.  Bad: She's coming home.
Good: Your wife's kinky. Bad: With the neighbors. Worse: All of them.