Let's face it... The Seven Deadly Sins of Gilligan's Island theory is
 quite simple. Each of the seven characters on the island represents
 each of the seven deadly sins. Now, this theory seems to fit upon
 initial inspection, there are technical difficulties when you get
 down to THE MAN himself, Gilligan.
 Run with me on this one... Most obvious is the Professor, who fits
 PRIDE to a T. Any man who can make a ham radio out of some wire and
 two coconuts has to be pretty cocky. (His character was later revised
 and given a series of his own, called "McGuyver.")
 For the sin of ENVY we need look no further than Maryann, who may
 have worn those skimpy little tops, but could never achieve Ginger's
 glamour. As an interesting and completely irrelevant side note, a
 nationwide survey of college students a few years ago revealed that
 the professor and Maryann were voted the most likely couple to have
 'done it' on the island.)
 And who could doubt for a moment that Ginger is LUST incarnate? Sure,
 the kids were supposed to think she was ACTING, but we all know what
 being deprived episode after episode was doing to her. You know and I
 know that glazed look wasn't boredom, my friends.
 What kind of person takes a trunk full of money on a three-hour
 cruise? Mr. Howell gets my vote for GREED.
 We are now left with three characters and three Deadly Sins. We have
 Gilligan, the Skipper and Mrs. Howell to whom we must match GLUTTONY,
 SLOTH and ANGER. As you can see, there is a Gilligan problem here.
 Certainly we can further eliminate Mrs. Howell from this equation by
 connecting her with SLOTH. She did jack squat during her many years
 on the island and everybody knows it.
 This leaves ANGER and GLUTTONY, either of which the Skipper had no
 shortage. He was, after all, a big guy with the tendency to hit
 Gilligan with his hat at least once an episode. After much
 consideration, I have decided that he can easily do double-duty,
 covering the two remaining Deadly Sins.
 So here we have the Seven Deadly Sins trapped in an endlessly
 recurring Hell of hope followed by denial and despair, forced to live
 with each other in our TVs until the last re-run ends. And who is
 their captor? What keeps them trapped there?
 Gilligan is SATAN. Think about it.