The Top 15 Ways O.J. Can Raise $33.5 Million 15.Host a Celebrity Stab-A-Thon. 14.Negotiate with the National Enquirer to admit to the Olympic bombing and the assasination of JFK. 13.Hit Kato up for back rent. 12.Tour guide for Hell, Michigan. 11."I Fought the Law: An Evening in Vegas with O.J. Simpson and Richard Jewell." 10.Host a TV program about mysterious disappearances of spouses, called the "EX-FILES." 9.Contact the Democratic National Committee fund raisers. 8.Get enormous breast implants; marry an old blind billionaire. 7.Develop super-duper coffee mug - sell a dozen to the Pentagon for $2,791,666.67 million each. 6.Arrangement with Satan to receive a penny every time someone thinks he should burn in Hell. 5."Borrow back" from criminal trial jury. 4.Write a "Homicide for Dummies" book. 3.Open a "Kick Me for $5" booth. Wait. 2."I'll take 'Golf Courses of Southern California' for 33.5 Million, Alex." and the Number 1 Way O.J. Can Raise $33.5 Million... 1.Invest $67 million in Apple Computer.