I can't tell you how slow the humor mill is ... -Brian Murphy "People is this country believe in individual freedom, but fear the free individual." - Peter Fonda in Easy Rider (it was on Encore! the other night! There was nothing else on!) +++++++++++++++++++++++++ ***SCIENCE NEWSFLASH*** Yesterday scientists in the USA revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory they fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn't drive. ++++++++++++++++++++++++ The Ebonics version of Do - Re - Mi: Do - is on the front my house Re- the fag who live next do Mi - a name I's call'n myself Fa - it burnt my house right down Sol - my car to pay the rent La - to the cop about the T.V. set Ti - the number after two, and that brings we back to do. ++++++++++++++++++++++ Two guys were discussing the new secretary at their office. John said to George: 'Man, I dated her last tuesday and we had wonderful sex. She's a lot better in bed than my wife !' Two days later: George to John, 'Well, I dated her too and we had sex as well. But she sure isn't a lot better than your wife.' +++++++++++++++++++++ (this joke is rated TV-M) "I want to open a F*CKING checking account," the man snarled. "I beg your pardon, sir?", the startled female teller replied. "Listen, DAMN IT, I said I want to open a F*CKING checking account." "I'm sorry, sir, but I can't help you if your going to talk like that." She left the window, walked over to the bank manager and whispered in his ear. The two returned and the manager asked, stiffly, "What seems to be the problem here?" "There's no GODDAMN problem!" the man insisted. "I just won ten million dollars in the lottery, and I want to open a F*CKING checking account!" "I see sir," the manager quickly replied, "and this BITCH here is giving you a hard time, is she?"