I can't tell you how slow the humor mill is ...

-Brian Murphy

"People is this country believe in individual freedom, but fear the free
individual." - Peter Fonda in Easy Rider (it was on Encore! the other
night! There was nothing else on!)


Yesterday scientists in the USA revealed that beer contains small traces
of female hormones.

To prove their theory they fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed
that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn't drive.


The Ebonics version of Do - Re - Mi:

Do - is on the front my house
Re- the fag who live next do
Mi - a name I's call'n myself
Fa - it burnt my house right down
Sol - my car to pay the rent
La - to the cop about the T.V. set
Ti - the number after two,
and that brings we back to do.


Two guys were discussing the new secretary at their office.
John said to George: 'Man, I dated her last tuesday and we had 
wonderful sex. She's a lot better in bed than my wife !'

Two days later:  George to John, 'Well, I dated her too and we 
had sex as well. But she sure isn't a lot better than your wife.'


(this joke is rated TV-M)

"I want to open a F*CKING checking account,"  the man snarled.

"I beg your pardon, sir?", the startled female teller replied.

"Listen, DAMN IT, I said I want to open a F*CKING checking 

"I'm sorry, sir, but I can't help you if your going to talk like that." 
She left the window, walked over to the bank manager and 
whispered in his ear.

The two returned and the manager asked, stiffly, "What seems 
to be the problem here?"

"There's no GODDAMN problem!" the man insisted. "I just won
ten million dollars in the lottery, and I want to open a F*CKING 
checking account!"

"I see sir," the manager quickly replied, "and this BITCH here is 
giving you a hard time, is she?"