The Sex Therapist

  A doctor had the reputation of helping couples increase the joy in 
their sex life, but always promised not to take a case if he felt he 
could not help them. The Browns came to see the doctor, and he gave 
them thorough physical exams, psychological exams, and various tests
and then concluded, "Yes, I am happy to say that I believe I can help 

  "On your way home from my office stop at the grocery store and buy 
some grapes and some doughnuts. Go home, take off your clothes, and you,
sir, roll the grapes across the floor until you make a bulls eye in your
wife's love canal. Then on hands and knees you must crawl to her like a 
leopard and retrieve the grape using only your tongue.

  "Then next, ma'am, you must take the doughnuts and from across the 
room, toss them at your husband until you make a ringer around his love 
pole. Then like a lioness, you must crawl to him and consume the 

  The couple went home and their sex life became more and more wonderful.

  They told their friends, Mr. & Mrs. Green that they should see the good
doctor. The doctor greeted the Greens and said he would not take the
case unless he felt that he could help them; so he conducted the physical
exams and the same battery of tests.

  Then he told the Greens the bad news. "I cannot help you, so I will not
take your money. I believe your sex life is as good as it will ever be.
I cannot help."

  "The Greens pleaded with him, and said, "You helped our friends the 
Browns, now please, please help us."

  "Well, all right", the doctor said. "On your way home from the office, 
stop at the grocery store and buy some apples and a box of cheerios..."