And now for today's installment of "E-mail jokes from Brian". (catchy
title, huh?) Enjoy!

Brian Murphy

"Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled 
for a reason" - Dennis Miller


A guy responds to a job position at the city zoo. The ad 
mentioned the salary but not what he would be doing. Come to 
find out that the zoo's gorilla had unexpectedly passed away. 
The zoo had just spent millions on promotions which focused 
on the gorilla and now they needed a gorilla. The guy really 
needed the job and the money was good so he accepted.
Everyday he would put on the gorilla suit, hang out in his cage 
and be the gorilla. After a while he started enjoying himself. He 
would scare little kids, roar at the crowds, and eat bananas 
and stuff.  

As time wore on he became the main attraction at the zoo. He 
would swing on his trees and vines, and the people loved him.

One particularly busy Saturday he was swinging around and 
accidentally swings over his fence and lands in the lions cage.
Thelion slowly opens his eyes and sees the gorilla. The lion 
begins to stalk. The lion, now drooling and wide awake, slowly 
approaches the gorilla who is backed up against the fence.
The lion is ready to jump, then the gorilla started yelling, "Help! 
Help! I'm not a gorilla. I'm a man! help, help !!" Then the lion 
said, " Shut-up stupid, or we'll both get fired! "


A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday 
morning. The first of the twosome teed-off and watched in 
horror as the ball headed directly toward a foursome of men 
playing the next hole. Indeed, the ball hit one of the men and he 
immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the 
ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.  The woman
rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize.

"Please allow me to help, I'm a physiotherapist and I know I
 could relieve your pain if you'd just allow me!", she told him 

"Ummph, oooh, nnooo, I'll be alright...I'll be fine in a few
 minutes", he replied as he remained in the fetal position still 
clasping his hands together at his crotch.

The woman takes it upon herself to begin to "ease his pain". 
She began to massage his groin.

After a few moments she asked, "Does that feel better?"

The man looked up at her and replied, "Yes, that feels pretty 
good... but my thumb still hurts like hell!