Hello, everybody. 

Lately I have been wondering whether the jokes I send are "beyond the
realms of good taste". If you are offended by the jokes I send to you,
please drop me a line and I will remove you from the list. I do not wish
to offend, but I won't cater to the easily offensible. It's your choice. 



An English taxidermist is sweating his way through the Australian
outback when he comes across a bar. He staggers in between the
beer-swilling locals and, in his well-educated voice, asks the
bartender, "May I have a gin and tonic, please, my good man."

One of the locals says to his mates, "Geez, cobbers, what kind of a
fucking man's drink is that?" Then, turning to the Englishman, "Hey!
You! Yes you, you fucking Pom! Gin and fucking tonic - are you some
fucking kind of a poofter or something?"

"Ac-actually," the terrified Pom replies, "I'm a t-t-taxidermist."

"Oh yeah? And what's a fucking taxidermist, then?"

"I stuff and mount d-dead animals."

"It's alright, cobbers," says the local, turning to his mates, "he's
one of us!"


(oldie but a goodie - b)

A blonde goes into a world wide message center to send a message to 
her mother in Poland.  When the man tells her it will be $300. She 
exclaims, "I don't have any money.. but I would do ANYTHING to get a
message to my mother in Poland"!!!!

To that the man asks, "Anything?"

And the blonde says "Yes.. Anything!!"

With that, the man says, "Follow me." 

He walks into the next room and tells her, "Come in and close the
door".. She does!! 

He then says "Get on your knees." She does!!

He then says, "Take down my zipper". She does!!

He then says "Go ahead... Take it out." With that, she 
takes it out and takes hold of it with both hands!! The man then says,
"Well ... go ahead!!"

She brings her mouth closer to it, and while holding it close to her
lips she says "HELLO, MOM?"