It's a hump day. (rednecks - this means it's wednesday). Enjoy the


Brian Murphy
San Diego, CA


There were three priests in a railroad station, all wanting to go home
to Pittsburg. Behind the ticket counter was a very, very shapely lass.
Well endowed, gorgeous, amazing. The priests were all in embarrassing
new territory, so they drew straws to determine who would get the

The first priest approached the window. "Young lady," he began, "I would
like three pickets to titsburg..." Whereupon he completely lost his
composure and fled.

The second priest approached. "Young lady, I would like three tickets to
Pittsburg," he began, "and I would like the change in nipples and
dimes." So of course he also fled.

Then came the third. "Young lady, I would like three tickets to
Pittsburg, and I would like the change in nickels and dimes. And I must
say," he continued, "if you insist on dressing like that, when you get
to the pearly gates, St. Finger' going to shake his peter at you."


Two boys were playing football (supposedly in Washington D.C. area)in a
park when one is attacked by a Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other
boy rips off a plank of the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's
collar & twists, breaking the dog's neck.

A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to
interview the boy.

"Washington Redskin fan saves friend from vicious animal," he starts
writing in his notebook.

"But I'm not a Redskins fan," the boy replied.

"Baltimore Ravens fan rescues friend from horrific attack," the reporter
starts again.

"I'm not a Ravens fan either," the boy said.

"Then what are you?" the reporter asked.

"I'm a Cowboys fan."

The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes,"Redneck
bastard kills family pet."

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