>From "Politically Correct Bedtime Stories"
                         By: James Finn Garner

	Once there were three little pigs who lived together in mutual 
respect and in harmony with their environment.  Using materials that were
indigenous to the area, they each built a beautiful house.  One pig
built a house of straw, and one a house of sticks, and one a house of
dung, clay, and creeper vines shaped into bricks and baked in a small
kiln.  When they were finished, the pigs were satisfied with their work
and settled back to live in peace and self-determination.
	But their idyll was soon shattered.  One day, along came a big bad 
wolf with expansionist ideas.  He saw the pigs and grew very hungry, in 
both a physical and an ideological sense.  When the pigs saw the wolf, they
ran into the house of straw.  The wolf ran up to the house and banged on
the door, shouting, "Little pigs, little pigs, let me in!"
	The pigs shouted back,"Your gunboat tactics hold no fear for pigs
defending their homes and culture."
	But the wolf wasn't to be denied what he thought was his manifest
destiny.  So he huffed and puffed and blew down the house of straw.  The
frightened pigs ran to the house of sticks, with the wolf in hot
pursuit.  Where the house of straw had stood, other wolves bought up the
land and started a banana plantation.
	At the house of sticks, the wolf again banged on the door and
shouted,'Little pigs, little pigs, let me in!"
	The pigs shouted back,"Go to hell, you carnivorous, imperialistic 
	At this, the wolf chuckled condescendingly.  He thought to
  "They are so childlike in their ways.  It will be a shame to see them
   go, but progress cannot be stopped."

	So the wolf huffed and puffed and blew down the house of sticks.  
The pigs ran to the house of bricks, with the wolf close at their heels. 
Where the house of sticks had stood, other wolves built a time-share
condo resort complex for vacationing wolves, with each unit a fiberglass
reconstruction of the house of sticks, as well as native curio shops,
snorkeling, and dolphin shows.

	At the house of bricks, the wolf again banged on the door and
shouted,"Little pigs, little pigs, let me in!"

	This time in response, the pigs sang songs of solidarity and wrote
letters of protest to the United Nations.

	By now the wolf was getting angry at the pigs' refusal to see the
situation from the carnivore's point of view.  So he huffed and puffed,
and huffed and puffed, then grabbed his chest and fell over dead from a
massive heart attack brought on from eating too many fatty foods.

	The three little pigs rejoiced that justice had triumphed and did 
a little dance around the corpse of the wolf.  Their next step was to
liberate their homeland.  They gathered together a band of other pigs
who had been forced off their lands.  This new brigade of porcinistas
attacked the resort complex with machine guns and rocket launchers and
slaughtered the cruel wolf oppressors, sending a clear signal to the rest
of the hemisphere not to meddle in their internal affairs.  Then the
pigs set up a model socialist democracy with free education, universal
health care, and affordable housing for everyone.