While most companies refrain from allowing consumption of alcohol on the premises, there are some arguments for changing that policy. Reasons for allowing drinking at work include: 1. It's an incentive to show up. 2. It reduces stress. 3. It leads to more honest communications. 4. It reduces complaints about low pay. 5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover. 6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear. 7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter. 8. It encourages carpooling. 9. Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't care. 10. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work. 11. It makes fellow employees look better. 12. It makes the cafeteria food taste better. 13. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted. 14. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable. 15. Suddenly, farting during a meeting isn't so embarrassing. 16. No one will remember your strip act at the Christmas Party. ===================================== Just so we all know what these really mean... PCMCIA People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms ISDN It Still Does Nothing APPLE Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity SCSI System Can't See It DOS Defunct Operating System BASIC Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control IBM I Blame Microsoft DEC Do Expect Cuts CD-ROM Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months OS/2 Obsolete Soon, Too WWW World Wide Wait MACINTOSH Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs PENTIUM Produces Erroneous Numbers Thru Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics COBOL Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language AMIGA A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction LISP Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parentheses MIPS Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed WINDOWS Will Install Needless Data On Whole System GIRO Garbage In Rubbish Out MICROSOFT Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers RISC Reduced Into Silly Code ALITALIA (The Italian Airline) = Always Late In Takeoff, Always Late In Arrival. ================================= A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded a bus. When she noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on account of her condition. She changed her seat and he seemed more amused. She moved again and then on her fourth move he burst out laughing. She had him arrested. When the case came before the court this was the man's reply when asked why he acted in such a manner: "When the lady boarded the bus I couldn't help noticing she was pregnant. She sat under an advertisement which read "Coming Soon: The Gold Dust Twins", then she moved under one that read "Sloans Liniments remove Swelling". "I was even more amused when she sat under a shaving advertisement which read "William Stick Did The Trick". Then I could not control myself any longer when on the fourth move she sat under an advertisement which read "Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident." He won the case.