While most companies refrain from allowing consumption of alcohol on the
 premises, there are some arguments for changing that policy.
 Reasons for allowing drinking at work include:
   1.  It's an incentive to show up.
   2.  It reduces stress.
   3.  It leads to more honest communications.
   4.  It reduces complaints about low pay.
   5.  It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.
   6.  Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants
       to hear.
   7.  It helps save on heating costs in the winter.
   8.  It encourages carpooling.
   9.  Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't
  10. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
  11. It makes fellow employees look better.
  12. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
  13. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
  14. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
  15. Suddenly, farting during a meeting isn't so embarrassing.
  16. No one will remember your strip act at the Christmas Party.
   Just so we all know what these really mean...
      PCMCIA   People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
      ISDN     It Still Does Nothing
      APPLE    Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
      SCSI     System Can't See It
      DOS      Defunct Operating System
      BASIC    Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control
      IBM      I Blame Microsoft
      DEC      Do Expect Cuts
      CD-ROM   Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
      OS/2     Obsolete Soon, Too
      WWW      World Wide Wait
      MACINTOSH  Most Applications Crash; If Not, The
                 Operating System Hangs
      PENTIUM  Produces Erroneous Numbers Thru Incorrect
               Understanding of Mathematics
      COBOL    Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
      AMIGA    A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction
      LISP     Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parentheses
      MIPS     Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
      WINDOWS  Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
      GIRO     Garbage In Rubbish Out
      MICROSOFT  Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our
                 Software Only Fools Teenagers
      RISC     Reduced Into Silly Code
 ALITALIA (The Italian Airline) = Always Late In Takeoff, Always Late In
 A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded a bus. When
 she noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on
 account of her condition. She changed her seat and he seemed more
 amused. She moved again and then on her fourth move he burst out
 laughing.  She had him arrested.
 When the case came before the court this was the man's reply when
 asked why he acted in such a manner: "When the lady boarded the
 bus I couldn't help noticing she was pregnant.
 She sat under an advertisement which read  "Coming Soon: The Gold
 Dust Twins", then she moved under one that read "Sloans Liniments
 remove Swelling".
 "I was even more amused when she sat under a shaving advertisement
 which read "William Stick Did The Trick". Then I could not control
 myself any longer when on the fourth move she sat under an
 advertisement which read "Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this
 He won the case.