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Date: Mon, 05 May 1997 13:28:36 -0700
From: Lashell Grillo 
Organization: Advanced Management Solutions
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Subject: What Do Men Know????
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# Why do men like love at first sight?
              It saves them a lot of time.
#  A woman of 35 thinks of having children.  What does a man of 35 
think of?
              Dating children.
#  How can you tell soap operas are fictional?
              In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.
# What should you give a man who has everything?
              A woman to show him how to work it.
#  Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
             To stop the snoring before it starts.
# Why don't men have mid-life crises?
              They stay stuck in adolescence.
#  How does a man show he's planning for the future?
                He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
#  How was Colonel Sanders a typical male?
              All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs.
# How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus?
              At the circus the clowns don't talk.
# What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
              The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no
intention of driving.
#  What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift?
             Exchange him.
# Why do men like smart women?
              Opposites attract.
# Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
             They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't
work half the time.
# What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
          After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
# Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
           Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until
next time.
# Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
           Breasts don't have eyes.
# What is the thinnest book in the world?
           What Men Know About Women
#  How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
            One.  Men will screw anything!
# What's a man's idea of foreplay?
          A half hour of begging.
# How can you tell if a man is sexually excited?
           He's breathing.
# What's the difference between men and government bonds?
           Bonds mature.
# How do you save a man from drowning?
           Take your foot off his head.
# Why are blonde jokes so short?
            So men can remember them.
# What do men and beer bottles have in common?
          They're both empty from the neck up.
# How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
           We don't know-it's never happened.