Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking 
dope and appeared in court on Friday before the judge. The 
judge said, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to 
give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to 
go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug 
use and get them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you back in 
court Monday."

Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the 
1st one, "How did you do over the weekend?" "Well, your honor, 
I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever." "17 people? 
That's wonderful. What did you tell them?"

"I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this...
        /   \
       |     |        O
        \ _ /

and told them this (the big circle) is your brain before drugs 
and this (small circle) is your brain after drugs." "That's 
admirable," said the judge.

"And you, how did you do?"(to the 2nd boy) "Well, your honor, I 
persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever." "156 people! 
That's amazing! How did you manage to do that!""Well, I 
used a similar approach. (draws two circles) 
                    /   \
           O       |     |
                    \ _ /

I said (pointing to the small circle) "this is your asshole 
before prison ..."

Fair Trade

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question.  As he
turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside
him and  as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.  They are both
startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'm, if your heart is as soft
your breast, I know you'll forgive me."

She replies, "if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436."


Flat Chested Woman

A flat-chested woman was delighted when her Fairy Godmother said her
breasts would increase in size each time a man said, "Pardon," to her. 
walked down the sidewalk, accidentally bumped into a man and he said,
"Pardon me." Her breasts instantly grew an inch and she was ecstatic.
next day she bumped into a man in the grocery store, he begged her
and another inch was added to her breasts. She was in seventh heaven! 
walked into a Chinese restaurant, collided with a waiter who bowed and
said, "A thousand pardons for my clumsy behavior."

The next day the headline in the local newspaper said, "Chinese Waiter
Crushed by Two Torpedoes!"
Brian R. Murphy
Merchant Web Design
Public Online Communication Corp.
(800) 481-7711 x8223