A policeman was patrolling a local parking spot overlooking a golf course.
He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with the dome light on. There
was a young man in the driver's seat reading a computer magazine and a
young lady in the back seat knitting. He stopped to investigate.

He walked up to the driver's window and knocked. The young man looked up,
cranked the window down, and said, "Yes Officer?"

"What are you doing?" the policeman asked.

"What does it look like?" answered the young man. "I'm reading this

Pointing towards the young lady in the back seat, the officer then asked,
"And what is she doing?"

The young man looked over his shoulder and replied, "What does it look
like? She's knitting."

"And how old are you?" the officer then asked the young man.

"I'm nineteen." he replied.

"And how old is she?" asked the officer.

The young man looked at his watch and said, "Well, in about twelve
minutes she'll be sixteen."


One fine day in Ireland, a guy is out golfing and gets up to the 16th 
hole. He tees up and cranks one. Unfortunately, it goes into the woods
on the side of the fairway. He goes looking for his ball and comes
across this little guy with this huge knot on his head, and the golf ball 
lying right beside him. "Goodness," says the golfer, and proceeds to
revive the poor little guy. Upon awaking, the little guy says, "Well, you
caught me fair and square. I am a leprechaun. I will grant you three 

The man says "I can't take anything from you, I'm just glad I didn't hurt
you too badly," and walks away. Watching the golfer depart, the leprechaun
thinks to himself, "Well, he was a nice enough guy, and he did catch me, 
so I have to do something for him. I'll give him the three things that I would
want. I'll give him unlimited money, a great golf game, and a great sex life." 

Well, a year goes by and the same golfer is out golfing on the same course at 
the 16th hole. He gets up and hits one into the same woods and goes off 
looking for his ball. When he finds the ball he sees the same little guy and
asks how he is doing. 

The leprechaun says, "I'm fine, and might I ask how your golf game is?"" 

"It's great! I hit under par every time." 

"I did that for you. And might I ask how your money is holding out?" 

The golfer says, "Well, now that you mention it, every time I put my hand 
in my pocket, I pull out a hundred dollar bill." 

"I did that for you. And might I ask how your sex life is?" The golfer looks at
him a little shyly and says, "Well, maybe once or twice a week." 

The leprechaun is floored and stammers, "Once or twice a week?" 

"Well, that's not too bad for a Catholic priest in a small parish."