In History Today June 17: On this day in 1986 Brian began his final 
summer vacation. Funny how those two words don't mean jack sh-t now.


A Border Patrol agent is on duty. He spots two Mexicans and
runs them down. They show him their papers (he thinks they
are phony).

He tells them, "O.K. I have a test for you. I want you to use the
words 'cheese' and 'liver' in a sentence."

So, the first guy says, "I made a liver and cheese sandwich
for lunch."

The agent says, "That was good, you can go. What about
you?"  he asks the second guy.

He says, "Liver alone.  Cheese mine."


A man moves into a nudist  colony.  He receives a letter from his mother
asking him to send her a current  picture.  Too  embarrassed  to let her
know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts one in half and sends her
the top part.
Later he  receives  another  letter  asking him to send a picture to his
grandmother.  The man cuts  another  picture  in half, but  accidentally
sends the bottom half.  He is really  worried  when he realizes  that he
sent the  wrong  part,  but  then  remembers  how bad his  grandmother's
eyesight is and hopes she won't notice.
A few weeks later he  receives a letter  from his grandmother.  It says,
"Thank you for the picture.  Change your hair makes your nose
look long."


A man travels to Spain and goes to a Madrid restaurant for a
late dinner. He orders the house special and he is brought a
plate with potatoes, corn, and two large meaty objects.

"What's this?" he asks.

"Cojones, senor," the waiter replies.

"What are cojones?" the man asks.

"Cojones," the waiter explains, "are the testicles of the bull
who lost at the arena this afternoon."

At first the man is disgusted, but being the adventurous type,
he decides to try this local delicacy. To his amazement,
it is quite delicious. In fact, it is so good that he decides to
come back again the next night and order it again. This
time, the waiter brings out the plate, but the meaty objects are
much smaller.

"What's this?" he asks the waiter.

"Cojones, senor," the waiter replies.

"No, no," the man objects. "I had cojones yesterday and they
were much bigger than these."

"Senor," the waiter explains, "the bull does not lose every
Brian Murphy